First of all, I want everyone to know that I am O.K. My last post was not the normal post for me but I decided to post it anyway. A few people thought I needed to go to support groups, which I have considered. Just haven't found one that will work for me. One person even thought a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Counselor was what I needed. Unfortunately, I don't even know the person that suggested it and I was within 5 feet of her 3 times in the last week and she didn't even introduce herself to me. Call me crazy, but if you are going to tell me to see a PTSD counselor, please have enough consideration to introduce yourself to me.
On to happy news........I don't have to go back to my oncologist for 3 months. I don't have cancer anymore. O.K. I know you all know I don't have cancer. I told you that a few hours after I found out. However, I didn't feel like I didn't have cancer. To be honest I felt like shit. I still had to go to the doctor almost daily and I had to see the oncologist in 3 weeks. I wanted to say are you sure I don't have cancer anymore? It feels like I do.
I did a half way decent job over the last three weeks of pretending I was happy. Everyone would say, "You have to be ecstatic!" Well, no I wasn't. I still FELT like I had cancer. That was until today.
This past week I have spent everyday at the doctor. Monday was for a blood test for my blood thinner. Then I went to the pain specialist for the neuropathy in my feet. Meds got changed at both of those doctors to try and reverse the unfortunate issues I was having.
Tuesday - more blood tests. Wednesday - annual exam. (Not sharing anything from that. hahahaha) And then there was today.
I woke up and my eyebrows are growing back in. Guess what color........BLACK! They are growing so fast I don't even need to spend time trying to draw them on. But black? Envision a pasty white bald head, pale facial skin, and BLACK eyebrows. Needless to say they stick out a little, but they are back!!!
I went to church to try and get ready mentally for my doctors appointment. It was great. I love the children's masses at school.
I then went to the Big C Center. (Who do I need to talk to for them to actually change the name to that?) More blood tests and then what I have been waiting for 3 weeks for. I got to meet with Dr. Vose.
She walked in and checked me over. Answered my questions and then said, "I don't need to see you for 3 months." I know it sounds silly, but that is when I realized I didn't have cancer. I have spent so much time in the hospital, treatment centers and the Big C, that her saying that made me finally believe I am doing well. She asked for a hug and then walked out. I looked at Joel and cried. At that moment I finally felt ecstatic. This was my time. This was a GREAT day!
So don't worry about me. This blog is my support group and my counselor. This blog is me reaching out to each of you. It doesn't need a response (although I love them) if you don't want to. It makes me feel better just to express my feelings through writing. I am sure there will be someday soon that I will quit writing, but until that day please read the ones you want to and delete anything you want to.
Today I just wanted you to know I am doing great. I am cancer free! It was a GREAT DAY!
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