Not over yet - but soon!

posted by Amy Osten, Tuesday, September 28, 2010, 8:00 AM

Well, I haven't posted in awhile because I have been sick. It is a good thing that I have had my last chemo treatment, but the side effects of the 6th round of chemo has kicked me in the butt. I guess when you have almost 100 chemo treatments it is going to catch up with you eventually.

The worst part of this time is the weakness and nausea. I can't seem to get to the bathroom on my own or from the car to the treatment center without a wheel chair. Joel or my mom have to help me with the stairs because I am very uneasy. One of my friends picked me up from the Cancer Center yesterday and I think she was surprised to see me in the condition I was in. It will be another 2-3 weeks before I gain the strength back I need to be able to be on my own.
I did eat this morning for the "first" real meal. I had my favorite: oatmeal and toast. Didn't get much down, but I did it without the nausea meds, so I am happy about that.

Yesterday was a marathon day for my mom and I. We couldn't believe it by the end. I went to the Cancer Center to get some fluids. They saw me being wheeled in and immediately came to asses me. I needed fluids, blood (down to 6 range, need to be at 10 or 11), and platlets (down to 8, need to be at least 80 for their comfort. 150 would be better.)

We started at 12:00p.m. at the cancer center at Village Point. We got fluids and waited for them to cross match my blood. Now this should take two hours max for them to cross match it, get the blood and platlets to the courier and out to the Cancer Center. Maybe 2 1/2. Well the courier forgot it twice and at 5:00 p.m. they threw in the towel. I needed to go to the hospital to get one unit of blood and one unit of platelets. Another unit of blood this morning with possibility of more platelets. Long story short, my mom and I walked out of the hospital at 11:00 and got home at 11:30.

They couldn't believe how calm I was with the whole process. What could I do? They weren't the blood bank screwing things up. We have become so used to being delayed that we knit, sleep or just watch tv. I have seen some patients get really upset with the nurses and it does not help.

Since my last chemo and discharge from the hospital I have been at the cancer center at village point 3 times and the hospital twice. 5 out of 6 days since discharge. Not bad. I hope to decrease this to at least every other day after treatments today.

The only other thing I want to share with you is that the changes we are going through are good. It is sometimes hard to realize that. Last Wednesday I was having a hard time being happy. I was being discharged and going home. I had just finished chemo. My mom showed up and she was the same way. I think this was a change to our NORMAL daily routine. This change was scary, even though it was good. However, when you spend three months basically being in the hospital (even though I hated it), it was somewhat of a safety zone. We were being taken away from our safety. It was the death of that stage of our process.
It took us a couple of days to get over those feelings and they do creep up time and again. However, our new NORMAL is a little easier to get used to. We will be reborn into this new routine and the change will be good. We are at home and only need to go for help when needed.

So just remember, when change happens in your life, it can feel like you are dying inside. However, if you allow yourself to be reborn and accept the change, it most likely will be for the best.

Love and God Bless!
Amy